What is kinky?

Sometimes I wish I had the right body shape for T-Shirts. My head is too large for my pencil-like neck and the ratio of my torso to my limbs is proportionally akin to a turnip with cocktail-sticks for arms and legs. When fashion designers were originally designing T-Shirts, they weren’t thinking of individuals with my malformed physique.

Of course, if I had the ability to change the shape of my body through wishing alone, moulding myself to appear presentable in T-Shirts would be way down on the list. First, I’d correct the problem of having one ear bigger than the other. I swear that problem didn’t exist until I started to wear a Bluetooth earpiece for my mobile phone. I got it cheap, and it weighs nearly three kilos, and I’m beginning to suspect the burden of this extra weight may be a contributory factor in the condition. Since I started wearing it my left ear now flops over and points south every time I watch a sunset.

And there are other areas of my body I would change too. I know that everyone says size doesn’t matter but there’s certainly one part of my anatomy that could do with losing some length and maybe trimming a little of its vast girth. Of course, I know some people find a large nose attractive, but I guess body shape is a personal decision.

But I’m digressing, aren’t I? I was talking about T-shirts. And my desire to wear one and not look like a famine victim on holiday. Or a badly constructed scarecrow with a wasting disease. I’ve always wanted to wear T-shirts because they can be printed with such pithy observations.

My wife hankers after the T-shirt that says, “Yes, I do have some spare change. Thank you for asking, you homeless piece of shit!” As you can probably tell, her application for a position with the Samaritans was unexpectedly rejected. My son wants the T-shirt that shows a picture of Harold Shipman and is framed with the words, “Carry On Doctor.” And me: I’d be happy with the T-shirt that says, “It’s only kinky the first time.”

Michelle Houston’s collection of four short BDSM stories, Kinky Girls Do, got me thinking about what constitutes kinky. Of course, I’m often thinking about things that are kinky, and not just because I’m a pervert, subversive and deviant. I consider these thoughts to be the necessary preoccupations of an author in the erotic genre.

And I keep coming back to the question: what is kinky?

As some of you may know, I’ve written a non-fiction book on swingers and I’m currently working on a follow-up title. To write this book I’ve interviewed many, many swinging couples and, not surprisingly, the word kinky has been bandied around with the frequency of the word parrot at a Monty Python convention. But no one has pinned it down to a universally acceptable definition.

One young lady I spoke with catalogued her interest in leather and rubber fetish wear. We followed this with a discussion on the most judicious locations for watersports and the inherent problems of outdoor bondage and flagellation. I then broached the subject of missionary position sex in bed, in the dark, with the lights off and she lambasted me for being outrageously depraved and kinky.

Which I only mention to show that one person’s kinky is another person’s commonplace.

But, for a primer into the world of kink, you could do much worse than enjoy Michelle Houston’s Kinky Girls Do.

Michelle Houston is a veteran writer of erotic fiction. While it’s not exactly true to say her name has been in more anthologies than the words, Table of Contents, it’s an inarguable fact that she is prolific and well-published. Her short fiction can be found in a variety of collections including those published by Alison Tyler, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Justus Roux and many of the Renaissance anthologies. Unleashed, a collection of Michelle’s short erotic fiction, includes sixteen sensationally sexy stories and this is just the tip of the metaphorical iceberg for her true output.

In Kinky Girls Do, Michelle entertains us with four stories of BDSM kink. As with all Michelle’s fiction the narrative is graphic without being gratuitous and sexy without being salacious. She creates rounded characters and masterfully takes us with them as they grow just a little bit more.

The first of these stories introduces exhibitionist Angela. Michelle makes the woman gorgeous and credible and pens a delicious story of steamy stripping, sultry show-womanship and a sensuous, satisfying conclusion. But, to show her diversity, Michelle brings a blend of sensitivity to the kink in this collection, and shows that however deviation might be defined by most, it can always be tempered with humanity.

If I say much more I’m going to spoil the plots of the other stories. It’s enough to say Michelle Houston writes sensational erotic fiction and these four shorts will strike a chord with every discerning reader of erotica.